I'm not saying Spanish TV is shoddy, but the other day I switched on our only music channel (a subsidiary of VH1), only to see a Spanish version of the Windows Vista error window that says "VLC Media Player has encountered a problem and needs to close". It was still there two hours later, right in the middle of the screen.
This is a pretty clear example of the sheer lack of quality control over the TV in this country. Spanish TV is shite. This isn't because of my poor Spanish either, this is shite in any language. The first thing you notice is the saturation of game shows. These are either ripped off from UK and American formats and made slightly more gaudy, or are incomprehensible Spanish inventions. Today, let's look at:
Cifras Y Letras, A.K.A. Countdown
How is it possible to get Countdown wrong? Surely any adaptation of the format must work by the same simple rules, even in the absence of the dream team: the late, great Richard Whitely, the recently departed Carol Vorderman, and the lovely lexical locatrix Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner, who I'm a little bit in love with.
It turns out that it's easy to get it wrong. The host is clearly as uncool as Whiteley, and there's a maths lady, but Susie now has a grey ponytail, and is a man. Bad vibes. The scoring system is complicated and sort of unfair. They choose the "consonantes" and "vocals" alternately, turning the letters game into some kind of subtle but pointless battle. The number rounds are pre-determined, so they don't even get to choose "one from the top, and any other five". Jesus! This format was sold to Spanish television after its success in the UK, right? Which idiot said "we love the idea, and it works just fine as it is, but we'd like to screw it up a bit for the Spanish audience. Also, we'll change the iconic music for miserable Midi jazz."
Also, half of the contestants are rubbish. I don't like to boast, but sometimes I get longer Spanish words than they do, and with my poor grasp of the language, that's surely not a good sign. Maybe I should go on: "won Countdown in second language" would look pretty good on my CV.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Subscribe
Posts
Comments
4 comments:
What time does it go out there, Joe? My recollection is that the UK version built its audience on disorientated students whose neural networks were still in tatters from copious amounts of Bulmers the preceding night.
Yo Joe. Have you seen that episode of Screenwipe where he shows choice English TV shows to a test audience in the US? They couldn't quite get their heads around why Countdown, in particular, was so popular. I think their lack of taste riled me less, however, than the revelation that a version of the show exists so horribly bastardised as the one you describe. Alternate vowels and consonants?!? The last time I was so disgusted was the moment I discovered that BMXing is now an Olympic sport. (I am on the other hand following Katie Price's 2012 dressage bid with interest...)
It seems to go out all the bloody time, Jim. Definitely twice a day, and in pretty good slots. Yesterday I turned on Canal 2 expecting Doctor Who (really fun in Spanish) but it was more bloody Cifras Y Letras.
And BMXing an Olympic sport? CRAPPY. That breaks, like, a million rules of the Purist version. But please tell me you haven't forgiven Horse Dancing because of Jordan...
Bro was all about the dragonball z in spanish when i was over - full hour and a half at like eleven in the morning. Didnt matter if u didnt understand a word: Just lay back pastied and watch the purtty colours. Well that or rdy steady cook which was pure gold!
Post a Comment